Protection

Contemplating gender stereotypes

Last month, my office asked me to conduct a day-long workshop on gender mainstreaming for all of the staff. Every year the international funding partners ask what SCCRDFI is doing regarding gender issues, and every year SCCRDFI is not able to report anything.  It was time to talk about it.  The great thing about this topic is that SCCRFI doesn't have to hire a new staff member to address gender issues; it is mainstreamed into every program.

Early in the day, we discussed gender stereotypes- what "should" a man/woman be like in appearance and behavior.  The discussion concluded with how stereotypes are limited; men and women can be and act however they want.  However, they also agreed that culture makes it hard to be who you want sometimes.  After that we moved into talking about how stereotypes can be dangerous and they practiced breaking these stereotypes with scenarios that I provided for them.  Here is an example of one:

Brittany has decided to have sexual intercourse with her boyfriend, Anthony. She says they really love each other. She stops at the pharmacy to buy condoms, and her friend, Helen, says, "Girls cannot buy condoms! That is a boy’s responsibility." What should Brittany say and do?

• What is the gender stereotype(s) here?
• How could this stereotype be dangerous?
• If you could give advice, what would you say?

The group who had the above scenario answered thoroughly and in a way that would have gotten them a 100% on a test- tell her to buy the condoms, that it's healthier for her to use them, they would go with her for support, etc.  Upon sharing their answers with the group, everyone in the training hall nodded, yes, yes; everyone agreed.  Now, I was impressed, but skeptical.  Condoms are a taboo topic in the Philippines.  Youth are engaging in sexual intercourse at an increasing rate (as evidenced by the increasing rate of teen pregnancy) with different partners.  The age for sexual debut is lowering as well.  Plus, the rate of new HIV cases are increasing.  However, common belief and culture is not supportive of condom use, mainly because it goes against Catholic Church teaching.  The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines is currently trying to ban (the very few) condom ads that air on television.  Sex is an extremely uncomfortable topic for most Filipinos to talk about, so even though people are having sex, especially unprotected sex, people rarely talk about ways to protect themselves.  If condoms do come up in conversation, people laugh and change the subject or turn the conversation into a negative political diatribe.  Part of becoming comfortable with using condoms is talking about condoms and if people continue to ignore discussions about condoms, then they will not be likely to use them or encourage others to use them.

As you can see, I was skeptical about their answers and, I did one of my favorite things, challenged them.  "How many of you either know a girl/woman who or you yourself have purchased a condom? Raise your hands," I said.  No one raised their hands, except for me and the Australian volunteer.  "See? It is easy to say what to do in workshops, but our challenge is to actually apply what we discuss," I shared.  Then an amazing interaction happened.  "Azel buys condoms!!!!" jokingly accused Erlynn. "NOOOOOO!" shouted Azel in reply.  The room filled with laughter as Azel blushed. I felt like I was in a movie- a health teacher in front of a bunch of teenagers.

I couldn't believe how perfectly the discomfort that they have with condoms was playing out in front of me.  These participants are supposed to be progressive community workers who empower their clients in all areas of their lives.  

"Wait, wait, wait. This is really interesting," I said, "Let's talk about this. Azel how do you feel about Erlynn saying this?" "Ashamed. Rachael, I really do not buy condoms," she said trying to convince me that she never would buy them.  I then asked the group, "By Erlynn saying this, and everyone laughing, do you think that Azel will feel comfortable buying condoms now if she wanted to?" "No," they quietly replied. "It's our job as community workers to protect the health of our clients.  We need to get comfortable with condoms.  The DOH (Dept of Health) even supports using condoms for protection. Your reaction could change your clients' lives forever.  They could stay ashamed, not buy a condom, get pregnant and/or get an STI. Their health could be in danger because of a joke like that." 

And with every mature conversation that I have about condoms with Filipinos, I always end it in the same way: if you don't feel comfortable buying condoms yet, you can ask me for help. I can get them for you.  This worked.  One of my coworkers asks me for "ten pieces (our code word)" every month. 

Condom use is not something that most Filipinos will become comfortable with for a long time. Although my hope is that if they receive all of the information on how to protect themselves, then they will start to make small changes and encourage their friends to as well.